So I graduated last Saturday, the 13th and I was all excited. Around my birthday, dad asked me if I wanted a party for my birthday and I said, "No Dad, instead of having a birthday party and a graduation party since things are tight, could I please have a graduation party instead?" My dad agreed. So today when I asked him, "Dad, could I have a graduation party? I picked a date and it's perfect, you're off, it's in the end of July so the farm shows haven't started yet and we'll have a bbq type thing. That sound good?" and he takes one look at me and says, "No." and I said, "why?" and he goes, "you don't deserve one." and I said, "but you promised me!" and he goes, "I don't care." and it pissed me off so I left the dinner table and went in my room and watched Reba and I heard my dad yell, "I don't care, not in my house and if she doesn't like it, she can leave but her clothes stay here, I'll give her a sheet," and then he banged on my door and told me to get out and finish my supper and I told him I wasn't hungry and he said that I could starve for all he cared and after he went down stairs, I came out and my mom (who is normally the asshole) heated up my dinner plate for me and said, "I don't care, we're having a party. You struggled so hard for the grades you got and you deserve it, just clean up so that he shuts up." My MOM was being NICE!! This is the woman who told me she wishes she would have had an abortion than have had me!!

So tomorrow, I'm going to get a big box and get rid of crap I don't want anymore. I'm gonna start with my closet and then the dog crate full of my papers from school and then my room. Then I'm going to call my Uncle Mark and see if I can arrange a deal with him for moving in with him. I just am so frustrated with my dad. His back pain is so bad that not even the prescription pain killers can touch it. He wants to go for the surgery, but he wants to wait until he's 55, which means he has one more year. I can't handle him anymore. I used to love my dad because him and I always clicked, we were a team, but of lately, he's become increasingly nastier and it's to the point where I want Joe around all the time because if Joe is there, my dad acts like the man I know him as, not the angry man in pain. I hate the man he is because he scares me and gets me upset and worried that he's getting Alzheimer's. I don't know who he is anymore, he scares me.

For happier things, Joe's older sister is getting married!! She found a nice guy with a job and a future. Joe is upset because he now has to wear a tux more than twice. -_- He looks so good in a tux though, that's why it irks me. He's a funny boy.


[link] Kuolema Tekee Taiteilijan- Nightwish Awesome Finnish metal band and a beautiful song that calms me.